In a previous post, I talked about how pride has little to no place in karate. In this entry, I'm going to talk about it again because it's starting to seem like a theme in my training.
It's proof that I really don't remember a thing that I've had two different people confirm that my concussion was caused by a punch and not a kick. I kept telling folks that it was a roundhouse kick (including the doctors) because I couldn't imagine a punch causing me this much pain and trouble, but I was really just guessing. It was actually a follow-up punch off the back hand that gave me the concussion.
I've been feeling okay, off and on. At my best, I'm just a little tired with a pretty bad headache. At my worst, I feel nauseated and disoriented on top of the tiredness and pain. It comes and goes. But in between the episodes of bad headache, I mostly just feel like a wimp. I keep thinking to myself, 'It was just a punch. You must not be very strong if a punch could do that much damage to you'.
I'm not treating myself fairly though, because honestly I'm really not that strong. I keep having to remind myself that the human body can only handle so much and that a punch to the temple, no matter how hard or soft, is damaging. I'm way too demanding of myself sometimes. I find it difficult to keep my expectations within the range of what can realistically be accomplished. And I think the problem is partially caused by an excess of pride.
If I wasn't proud, I wouldn't feel like a wimp because my expectations would be within the range of normal human capability. I wouldn't expect another person who got hit in the temple to make an immediate recovery. I'd expect them to have a concussion. I should therefore expect the same from myself. I am not Superman just because I feel like I should be. And why should I be? What makes me so much better than everybody else that I should be able to super-humanly handle head trauma? Nothing. I am human like everybody else...but for some reason, that isn't always enough for me.
Now don't get me wrong, pride can be good sometimes. That is, some types of pride can be positive and good for you...but it is not good when it makes you feel unnecessarily bad about yourself. Right now, I'm struggling with that kind of pride. I'm having a hard time putting it in its place...which should be somewhere else, where it can't get to me like it has.
Another factor in my being hard on myself is that I really just want this to be over with so that I can return to training. According to my doctor, I can't do anything; I can't even take a walk around my neighborhood until I make it through an entire week with no symptoms. I've been relatively active for a year and having to completely slow down and stop is a little bit discouraging and is making me feel restless.
Despite the negative tone of this entry, I really am trying to have a good attitude because I know that having a good attitude will speed up recovery and is generally more fun to live with. But honestly, in between my periods of optimism, I do feel a little bit discouraged. It's kind of like my headache: I feel good and then I feel lousy...and then I feel good again.
This whole ordeal is becoming a test of my patience and kindness toward myself. Both are being challenged, and perhaps both really need to be. I'll just have to do my best...and I hope I learn something from this that will help me in the future. And hopefully something will change as a result.
Showing posts with label injury. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injury. Show all posts
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Attitude is Everything
I'm about to apply life to martial arts instead of the other way around, although this story is definitely martial arts-related.
On Wednesday I didn't have my hands up when I needed them to be while sparring and I received a very solid roundhouse kick to the temple. I thought I was alright for a little while, but my head hurt and I started to feel really sick, so my mom picked me up from karate and took me to the ER to check for brain damage.
My parents are in the military and I am still on their insurance, so we had to drive about 45 minutes away to get to the hospital on the local air force base, Lackland. The military is great, don't get me wrong, but they are required to serve people in uniform before they serve people in civilian clothing (unless, of course, said person in plain clothes is bleeding on the floor or having a heart attack), so Mom and I waited for a total of about 6 hours before we were seen.
It was a long wait and my head was killing me. But somehow I managed to stay positive...even through the loudness of Fox News and Glenn Beck. There were some times where I became discouraged from having to wait so long, but I found that it was easier to sit and wait while I was making jokes and trying to keep a good attitude about it. I think life is easier when we keep a sense of humor.
They did a CT scan and found no internal bleeding, so I was diagnosed with a concussion and told that I can't go back to karate or do anything physically demanding until I go for an entire week without headaches, nausea, or memory loss.
Well, this was a little discouraging because I love karate. It's the highlight of my week. I hate having to sit out when I get hurt, I hate getting sick, and I hate missing class. But I'm trying to keep a good attitude because I realize that having to miss karate for a little while is much better than going back and injuring myself further, and then having to stop doing it altogether.
It's my third day since the ER visit and my head hurts worse than it ever has, but again, I am trying to stay positive because I've learned that the entire experience is easier and doesn't seem quite as bad when I keep my attitude good and my sense of humor handy.
It might be awhile before I'm allowed to return to karate, but if karate has taught me anything, it's that attitude is everything. Pain is pain and it hurts no matter what, but it will surely hurt more if it's the main object of my focus all the time...just like push-ups! Push-ups hurt sometimes and they're physically demanding, but they always hurt worse when you're only thinking about how much you want to stop.
Indomitable spirit definitely exists off the mat. This is probably a great time to practice it. And whenever you're practicing indomitable spirit, you're practicing karate. Whenever you're practicing having a good attitude, you're practicing karate. Whenever you're doing something you must do even though you don't really want to, you're practicing karate. When you're kind to someone, when you're helpful, when you don't give up, when you push through the pain...you're practicing karate.
I'll miss going to class for the next week or so, but I don't need to be in class to practice. I'm always practicing...in everything I do.
On Wednesday I didn't have my hands up when I needed them to be while sparring and I received a very solid roundhouse kick to the temple. I thought I was alright for a little while, but my head hurt and I started to feel really sick, so my mom picked me up from karate and took me to the ER to check for brain damage.
My parents are in the military and I am still on their insurance, so we had to drive about 45 minutes away to get to the hospital on the local air force base, Lackland. The military is great, don't get me wrong, but they are required to serve people in uniform before they serve people in civilian clothing (unless, of course, said person in plain clothes is bleeding on the floor or having a heart attack), so Mom and I waited for a total of about 6 hours before we were seen.
It was a long wait and my head was killing me. But somehow I managed to stay positive...even through the loudness of Fox News and Glenn Beck. There were some times where I became discouraged from having to wait so long, but I found that it was easier to sit and wait while I was making jokes and trying to keep a good attitude about it. I think life is easier when we keep a sense of humor.
They did a CT scan and found no internal bleeding, so I was diagnosed with a concussion and told that I can't go back to karate or do anything physically demanding until I go for an entire week without headaches, nausea, or memory loss.
Well, this was a little discouraging because I love karate. It's the highlight of my week. I hate having to sit out when I get hurt, I hate getting sick, and I hate missing class. But I'm trying to keep a good attitude because I realize that having to miss karate for a little while is much better than going back and injuring myself further, and then having to stop doing it altogether.
It's my third day since the ER visit and my head hurts worse than it ever has, but again, I am trying to stay positive because I've learned that the entire experience is easier and doesn't seem quite as bad when I keep my attitude good and my sense of humor handy.
It might be awhile before I'm allowed to return to karate, but if karate has taught me anything, it's that attitude is everything. Pain is pain and it hurts no matter what, but it will surely hurt more if it's the main object of my focus all the time...just like push-ups! Push-ups hurt sometimes and they're physically demanding, but they always hurt worse when you're only thinking about how much you want to stop.
Indomitable spirit definitely exists off the mat. This is probably a great time to practice it. And whenever you're practicing indomitable spirit, you're practicing karate. Whenever you're practicing having a good attitude, you're practicing karate. Whenever you're doing something you must do even though you don't really want to, you're practicing karate. When you're kind to someone, when you're helpful, when you don't give up, when you push through the pain...you're practicing karate.
I'll miss going to class for the next week or so, but I don't need to be in class to practice. I'm always practicing...in everything I do.
Friday, December 10, 2010
"That's Martial Arts!"
My last post introduced Bruce, the third degree Shotokan black belt who is now training with us at the Refinery. He's from Iran and he just moved to the states a few weeks ago. Being a Shotokan guy, he trained at a traditional school for a long time before coming here. He told me that he spent five years just working on basic blocks and stances before his sensei actually taught him how to fight.
Talk about patience!
Anyway, our class last night was very heavy on sparring. It was the most intense night I've had in my training so far. Not only was it incredibly fun and fast-paced, but I also feel like I learned a lot. There's such a big mental factor to sparring that people who don't practice martial arts probably don't see. Watching Bruce and Sensei spar each other was very interesting. There were long periods of time where they just stared at each other--neither one of them attacking. When they did attack, their moves were precise and calculated...and were countered almost immediately by the other person! Very interesting.
The injuries were all minor. Everybody took a groin-shot last night. Everybody jammed toes and fingers. I took a knife-hand to the back of the neck, which put me on the ground. I thought I was alright for a minute, but then my vision went blurry and I got dizzy and fell over. Within about five to ten minutes, after checking me out, Bruce said, "Ahhh, you're fine!" And he helped me up, saying, "That's martial arts!".
It's funny that he said that because there are so many things about martial arts that you could apply that phrase to. Injury is one thing. With a room full of people practicing dangerous techniques, you're bound to get hurt sometimes. Luckily, the body is very resilient and most of the time injuries are minor. They just hurt a lot. That's martial arts.
Another thing is being mentally and physically tired. Last night, by the time our third hour began, I felt like I was going to fall over (that's about the time that the adrenaline from sparring wore off). Instead of leaving, though, I stayed and continued to train despite the fatigue. Sometimes we have to do things when we're tired. That's martial arts.
One more thing that I'll mention that we can apply Bruce's phrase to is feeling that our technique isn't where it should be and that it needs to be improved. Most of the time when I feel that way it's because I haven't been able to apply something that Sensei has taught me, or because I've been severely beaten in sparring. I hate to admit to this, but I am competitive and I can be a sore loser. I try not to be too prideful because that's not what martial arts is about, but I always feel like I should do better when someone completely destroys me in sparring. It humbles me and makes me try harder to improve. It helps, however, to remember that there will always be someone who is stronger/faster/more experienced than I am. And because they are stronger/faster/more experienced, there are countless invaluable things I can learn from them. That's martial arts.
There are a lot of situations in training that can be uncomfortable or just downright painful. I can see how pain, fatigue, and occasional feelings of inadequacy might really turn people off to an activity, but I think it says a lot about the martial artist's character and spirit that he continues to train despite these things; that he is able to look past the pain of the temporary toward his goal of constant improvement. Meeting that goal is worth the cost. Lots of things in life are that way. Sometimes we just have to push through the pain and adversity and continue to get back up.
That's not just martial arts. That's life.
Talk about patience!
Anyway, our class last night was very heavy on sparring. It was the most intense night I've had in my training so far. Not only was it incredibly fun and fast-paced, but I also feel like I learned a lot. There's such a big mental factor to sparring that people who don't practice martial arts probably don't see. Watching Bruce and Sensei spar each other was very interesting. There were long periods of time where they just stared at each other--neither one of them attacking. When they did attack, their moves were precise and calculated...and were countered almost immediately by the other person! Very interesting.
The injuries were all minor. Everybody took a groin-shot last night. Everybody jammed toes and fingers. I took a knife-hand to the back of the neck, which put me on the ground. I thought I was alright for a minute, but then my vision went blurry and I got dizzy and fell over. Within about five to ten minutes, after checking me out, Bruce said, "Ahhh, you're fine!" And he helped me up, saying, "That's martial arts!".
It's funny that he said that because there are so many things about martial arts that you could apply that phrase to. Injury is one thing. With a room full of people practicing dangerous techniques, you're bound to get hurt sometimes. Luckily, the body is very resilient and most of the time injuries are minor. They just hurt a lot. That's martial arts.
Another thing is being mentally and physically tired. Last night, by the time our third hour began, I felt like I was going to fall over (that's about the time that the adrenaline from sparring wore off). Instead of leaving, though, I stayed and continued to train despite the fatigue. Sometimes we have to do things when we're tired. That's martial arts.
One more thing that I'll mention that we can apply Bruce's phrase to is feeling that our technique isn't where it should be and that it needs to be improved. Most of the time when I feel that way it's because I haven't been able to apply something that Sensei has taught me, or because I've been severely beaten in sparring. I hate to admit to this, but I am competitive and I can be a sore loser. I try not to be too prideful because that's not what martial arts is about, but I always feel like I should do better when someone completely destroys me in sparring. It humbles me and makes me try harder to improve. It helps, however, to remember that there will always be someone who is stronger/faster/more experienced than I am. And because they are stronger/faster/more experienced, there are countless invaluable things I can learn from them. That's martial arts.
There are a lot of situations in training that can be uncomfortable or just downright painful. I can see how pain, fatigue, and occasional feelings of inadequacy might really turn people off to an activity, but I think it says a lot about the martial artist's character and spirit that he continues to train despite these things; that he is able to look past the pain of the temporary toward his goal of constant improvement. Meeting that goal is worth the cost. Lots of things in life are that way. Sometimes we just have to push through the pain and adversity and continue to get back up.
That's not just martial arts. That's life.
Monday, August 23, 2010
'Ouch' is not a Judo term
If you've studied martial arts at some point in your life, you're probably somewhat familiar with the anecdote that I've titled this entry after. I think that 'Ouch' (as I will now say in reference to the above phrase) is mostly used to try to explain part of having indomitable spirit to students; when you're knocked down, get back up as soon as you can. Martial arts hurts sometimes, and to have indomitable spirit is to push through the pain because even though it hurts, it will eventually make you stronger. I think that this is a good thing to teach, because with it come the lessons of determination, commitment, and patience, along with the perseverance of getting back up time and time again.
But if there's a student in the class like me, who tends to take things a little bit too seriously at times, bad things can happen with this phrase. Although they are usually said with humor, I must admit that I tend to take phrases like 'Ouch' a little too much to heart.
On more than one occasion, I've used 'Ouch' as an excuse to keep going when I've been injured. I suppose some people like to keep going when they're clearly hurt because it gives them an ego boost, but that's not really why I tend to want to continue as normal when it happens to me. The reason I keep going is because I don't want to quit having fun. I love martial arts. I love training. I love almost every part of it (even push-ups and straddle-splits, on occasion). Sitting out for me is almost like being the one sibling who has to sit in timeout in the car while the rest of the family enjoys the carnival.
But today my sensei said something very wise.
I had accidentally kicked a fellow student too hard in the thigh, triggering a charlie horse, and he (wisely) took a few minutes to rest. Something similar happened to me, later on, as my foot (which I'd injured over the weekend) started to really hurt when I put weight on it. I however, unlike my wise 9-year-old friend, did not take a break.
At the end of class, I received a bit of a reprimand for not taking care of myself when my foot started hurting. Sensei said that it's usually good to keep going, but sometimes when we get injured, it's not easy to just get up like nothing happened. He said, "Sometimes it's a good idea to get the hurt out, and then get back up. I don't want you to push through it and not rest, thinking you'll be fine if you just ignore it. Get the hurt out first and really make sure that you're okay before you continue training. We don't want a little problem to turn into a big one."
Very wise words. I needed to hear them.
It's so easy to get caught up in the 'I'm-a-martial artist-and-I-have-indomitable-spirit-and-therefore-I-am-invincible' mentality. Nobody is invincible; it's really easy to get seriously injured while training. Being careful is important; more important than being the most 'advanced' student; more important than being 'tough'; more important than having fun, even. After all, if you seriously injure yourself while training, you have to stop training! That would be like an endless time-out session for me. Not desirable at all.
But my favorite thing that Sensei said was, 'Get the hurt out, first'. It sometimes seems like (in martial arts and in life) we're pressured to hide our pain; to keep fighting; to continue to 'push through' serious pain by ignoring it or pushing it away altogether. We say, "Well, maybe if I pretend it's not there, it won't be. And then I can get on with more important things like training and being happy and having fun."
That's just like ignoring a broken arm. Or a foot injury. If I 'push through it' and keep fighting without stopping to assess the damage, my small problem can quickly turn into something serious that could put me out for months, maybe. I now have to deal with a big problem that could've been avoided if I'd simply listened to and respected my body (or mind) in the first place.
Tonight was another night for learning. There seem to be a few lessons that keep popping up during my training. They are:
All three are important lessons that can be applied to pretty much anything in life...like most lessons learned on the mat.
I'm gonna close out this entry a little bit differently than usual. I found a video called, "The Top 10 Worst Freak Injuries in MMA". In some of the footage shown here, the fighters continued fighting through their injuries, but all of the matches were called off as soon as a medical problem was identified.
But if there's a student in the class like me, who tends to take things a little bit too seriously at times, bad things can happen with this phrase. Although they are usually said with humor, I must admit that I tend to take phrases like 'Ouch' a little too much to heart.
On more than one occasion, I've used 'Ouch' as an excuse to keep going when I've been injured. I suppose some people like to keep going when they're clearly hurt because it gives them an ego boost, but that's not really why I tend to want to continue as normal when it happens to me. The reason I keep going is because I don't want to quit having fun. I love martial arts. I love training. I love almost every part of it (even push-ups and straddle-splits, on occasion). Sitting out for me is almost like being the one sibling who has to sit in timeout in the car while the rest of the family enjoys the carnival.
But today my sensei said something very wise.
I had accidentally kicked a fellow student too hard in the thigh, triggering a charlie horse, and he (wisely) took a few minutes to rest. Something similar happened to me, later on, as my foot (which I'd injured over the weekend) started to really hurt when I put weight on it. I however, unlike my wise 9-year-old friend, did not take a break.
At the end of class, I received a bit of a reprimand for not taking care of myself when my foot started hurting. Sensei said that it's usually good to keep going, but sometimes when we get injured, it's not easy to just get up like nothing happened. He said, "Sometimes it's a good idea to get the hurt out, and then get back up. I don't want you to push through it and not rest, thinking you'll be fine if you just ignore it. Get the hurt out first and really make sure that you're okay before you continue training. We don't want a little problem to turn into a big one."
Very wise words. I needed to hear them.
It's so easy to get caught up in the 'I'm-a-martial artist-and-I-have-indomitable-spirit-and-therefore-I-am-invincible' mentality. Nobody is invincible; it's really easy to get seriously injured while training. Being careful is important; more important than being the most 'advanced' student; more important than being 'tough'; more important than having fun, even. After all, if you seriously injure yourself while training, you have to stop training! That would be like an endless time-out session for me. Not desirable at all.
But my favorite thing that Sensei said was, 'Get the hurt out, first'. It sometimes seems like (in martial arts and in life) we're pressured to hide our pain; to keep fighting; to continue to 'push through' serious pain by ignoring it or pushing it away altogether. We say, "Well, maybe if I pretend it's not there, it won't be. And then I can get on with more important things like training and being happy and having fun."
That's just like ignoring a broken arm. Or a foot injury. If I 'push through it' and keep fighting without stopping to assess the damage, my small problem can quickly turn into something serious that could put me out for months, maybe. I now have to deal with a big problem that could've been avoided if I'd simply listened to and respected my body (or mind) in the first place.
Tonight was another night for learning. There seem to be a few lessons that keep popping up during my training. They are:
- Tap when it hurts (or, know when to stop before you're seriously injured)
- Don't take things too seriously
- Take care of yourself (specifically, don't ignore a problem and expect it to just go away. Acknowledge it and react appropriately)
All three are important lessons that can be applied to pretty much anything in life...like most lessons learned on the mat.
I'm gonna close out this entry a little bit differently than usual. I found a video called, "The Top 10 Worst Freak Injuries in MMA". In some of the footage shown here, the fighters continued fighting through their injuries, but all of the matches were called off as soon as a medical problem was identified.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tap when it hurts
Man, today was painful!
We did Aikido today. Usually I'm like, "Woo hoo, Aikido! I love Aikido!" because I enjoy arm-bars and wristlocks and submission. I dunno; maybe I'm crazy, but I usually get very excited when we learn Aikido stuff. But like with anything else, after doing the figure-four-arm-bar-elbow-pit-reversal-submission-death-throw ('FFABEPRSDT' for short) twenty times on each arm, I was beginning to hate life a little bit!
The move (which is actually just called 'Figure Four') starts out with an attacker throwing a punch at you. You're supposed to sidestep out of the way while giving them an arm-bar, then very quickly, you twist their arm up into a shoulder-lock and simply walk forward until they lose their balance and fall down.
Maybe I'm just a big complainer, but after we were finished with class, I could actually feel my joints throbbing and aching. Tomorrow I'm going to have to do a lot of stretching to make up for today.
I don't think I would've had such a problem if I had tapped out before Zach, my classmate, actually started to hurt me. I've found that when Zach is my partner, I get kind of competitive. When I'm working with Zach I feel like a big wimp if I complain about anything, so when he had me in the figure-four, even though he went too fast and over-extended both of my elbows and shoulders almost every time, I didn't tap. Even when it hurt, I didn't tap. Some people might be extremely proud of that, but now that I'm hurt, I'm not proud at all. I just hurt.
I should have tapped, but my pride won out over my better judgement. In martial arts, you're supposed to avoid injury. If it is possible to walk away from a fight without hurting anybody or getting hurt yourself, that is the ideal solution to the confrontation. Likewise, practice is not supposed to cause injury. If I had told Zach to slow down or to not push as hard, I might have been able to avoid over-extending my elbows and pulling the muscles in my shoulders.
This was a painful lesson to learn and it was unneccessary to allow myself to be injured just so that I could say, "Hey, look. I'm not a wimp." After all, who cares what other people think, right?
I confess that that doesn't work as well when I'm around people whose opinions matter to me. But I should've known better; Zach and Sensei are both great people whom I've trusted on many, many occasions. Sometimes I forget that they're my friends and that they aren't going to think less of me if I tap when it hurts.
I guess I just need reminding of that every now and then.
Hopefully I'll be able to skip the Motrin next time I need a reminder.
We did Aikido today. Usually I'm like, "Woo hoo, Aikido! I love Aikido!" because I enjoy arm-bars and wristlocks and submission. I dunno; maybe I'm crazy, but I usually get very excited when we learn Aikido stuff. But like with anything else, after doing the figure-four-arm-bar-elbow-pit-reversal-submission-death-throw ('FFABEPRSDT' for short) twenty times on each arm, I was beginning to hate life a little bit!
The move (which is actually just called 'Figure Four') starts out with an attacker throwing a punch at you. You're supposed to sidestep out of the way while giving them an arm-bar, then very quickly, you twist their arm up into a shoulder-lock and simply walk forward until they lose their balance and fall down.
Maybe I'm just a big complainer, but after we were finished with class, I could actually feel my joints throbbing and aching. Tomorrow I'm going to have to do a lot of stretching to make up for today.
I don't think I would've had such a problem if I had tapped out before Zach, my classmate, actually started to hurt me. I've found that when Zach is my partner, I get kind of competitive. When I'm working with Zach I feel like a big wimp if I complain about anything, so when he had me in the figure-four, even though he went too fast and over-extended both of my elbows and shoulders almost every time, I didn't tap. Even when it hurt, I didn't tap. Some people might be extremely proud of that, but now that I'm hurt, I'm not proud at all. I just hurt.
I should have tapped, but my pride won out over my better judgement. In martial arts, you're supposed to avoid injury. If it is possible to walk away from a fight without hurting anybody or getting hurt yourself, that is the ideal solution to the confrontation. Likewise, practice is not supposed to cause injury. If I had told Zach to slow down or to not push as hard, I might have been able to avoid over-extending my elbows and pulling the muscles in my shoulders.
This was a painful lesson to learn and it was unneccessary to allow myself to be injured just so that I could say, "Hey, look. I'm not a wimp." After all, who cares what other people think, right?
I confess that that doesn't work as well when I'm around people whose opinions matter to me. But I should've known better; Zach and Sensei are both great people whom I've trusted on many, many occasions. Sometimes I forget that they're my friends and that they aren't going to think less of me if I tap when it hurts.
I guess I just need reminding of that every now and then.
Hopefully I'll be able to skip the Motrin next time I need a reminder.
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