Helping

I think that when most people think of martial arts, they think about techniques and kata and nunchaku and cage fighting. I don't think that the thought of being helpful to other people comes to their minds right away. But most martial artists, if not all of them, can probably recall a time in their training where they needed the help of someone else. Perhaps it was to better understand a technique or to begin a form. Perhaps they needed assistance with properly conditioning their body for the physical fitness level that martial arts requires...or maybe they needed help with something more esoteric; maybe a struggle with a life issue or coming to terms with something outside of their control.

I can name many examples of each of those struggles that I've had while training, and I've only been training for a little more than a year. At some point in class, everybody needs a hand with something. It's inevitable when there's something new to be learned.

For example, who can practice a throw on their own? Without a partner, it's difficult to really prepare for that situation, because you're only moving YOUR body and not someone else's. Who can practice a choke defense without being choked? Sure, you can go through the motions until you have it perfect each time, but you need fingers to grab. You need to feel deprived of oxygen. You need to know where to look for air.

When we train, we need other people...and they need us! Since everybody needs assistance with something at some point, this means that most people have an opportunity to give that assistance. Senior students help younger students. Younger students eventually become senior students and continue that cycle.
But whether younger or senior or sensei, everyone has a chance to help someone else.

Right now, in Japan, there are a lot of people who need help due to the earthquake and tsunami. While they might seem stoic and calm, this is because Japanese people have been raised to appear as though they can bear the unbearable (this concept is called 'gaman'). Accepting help is sometimes very hard, but for the Japanese it is much more difficult. Their culture raises them to accept hardship without complaint; to persevere through extremely difficult things with poise and a general "can do" attitude. For a Japanese person, accepting help often feels akin to dumping their problems on another, and that is completely counter-intuitive to their way of life.

Sometimes, we have a hard time accepting help because we're proud; we're embarrassed to not be able to do everything on our own, but in Japan this is just the way of things. With such widespread devastation, so many people are now in need of help, though they will never ask for it. In some cases, they will not even appear to need it. But we all know at least one person who behaves the same way in martial arts. Maybe we ARE that person. I know I've been there.

So my message in this entry is, when you see somebody struggling, help them if you can. When someone hits the mat, I try to help them up. When someone is struggling to learn a technique that I have some understanding of, I try to help them learn. Sometimes others will need help, but they won't ask. That may be a good indicator that you should take the initiative. Whether Japanese or American, we are all human, and humans are not meant to do everything alone.

Losing and Gaining (And avoiding a fight!)

Tonight, a friend of mine and I were walking in a McDonald's parking lot on a side of town that we usually don't explore. It was late and there was only one other car (a van) parked in the lot, but I didn't really think anything of it because nothing seemed suspicious. It's a Sunday night. Most people are getting ready for work tomorrow.

Anyway, we got out of my car and suddenly, this guy appeared from inside of the van and asked us if we had a second. Of course, I said yes because he seemed like he might have been having car trouble or something. It turned out, he was looking for money. He asked me for about fifty dollars and when I hesitated, he got really close to me and it really made me nervous. He seemed very desperate and the way he was walking/talking/moving suggested to me that something wasn't quite right. He may have had a weapon. I'm not sure. Anyway, I was glad to find that I had about fifty dollars to give him.

I would've given it to him anyway, even if I didn't feel threatened. As a matter of fact, I was reaching into my pocket to get my wallet when he got inside of my personal space. His wife got outside of the car, too, seemingly to thank me, but she was moving strangely as well. It seems that I might have avoided a fight tonight by simply giving the guy what he wanted. I just have this feeling, based on the way the two were acting, that had I told them 'no', they would've taken it by force.

I am broke now, and I probably will be for the rest of the month, but at least I'm not broken! I still have my head. I'm not hurt...and neither are they. Any kind of fight may have cost someone their life tonight. What if that guy had had a gun? What if he really did have a knife? The way he was moving suggested a weapon of some sort...as did his wife's movements. The way that he invaded my personal space suggested that he was desperate and perhaps willing to take drastic measures to get what he wanted. There was no need for that since I gave him what he wanted willingly.

The lesson here is that it's better to lose something that seems important to you than to lose your life. We have to die to ourselves in order to gain eternal life in heaven. This means that we must sacrifice what we think we need, here on Earth; we must change ourselves and leave behind who we were in order to become who we need to be.

It's much better to lose your life and gain heaven than it is to gain the entire world, but lose your soul. Likewise, losing fifty bucks means that I'm going to have some trouble paying for some essential things that I need this month, but I still have my life. I am not hurt. I am not dead.

Overall, a very obvious success.

Training all the way

I'm currently involved in a cardio kickboxing class at my school. Since I haven't been able to participate for the past few weeks due to the concussion, it's been a bit of a challenge adjusting to the extra workout at 8AM every Tuesday and Thursday...but I've found that I really enjoy the class, and while our instructor isn't quite as hands-on and personal as Sensei is, he's a nice guy and I really like him.

Today, he noticed that I was wearing my Refinery T-shirt and he asked me, after holding the pad for my roundhouse kick, whether I was a black belt. I kind of laughed because I'm obviously not, but he told me that he couldn't tell what rank I am because I train so intensely while I'm in class. He said he thinks I work out like a black belt.

Looking back at this morning, that really was quite a compliment! But at the same time I think that's kind of how it should always appear to other people if you practice martial arts. Your actions should reflect your training. Karate is in everything you do. It goes way beyond showing up to class every day; it's in the way you practice and in the amount of effort you put into tasks placed before you. It's in the way you treat people and how you interact with and encourage others who may be struggling. It's in the way you carry yourself and in the way you talk...it's even in the way you demonstrate what you believe. Its everywhere, all the time. The same amount of effort and heart and spirit that you have on the mat, you should also have off of it.

Even if other people don't know that you train in a martial art, if you treat everything as though your training is part of it, they will notice something different about you. This is why we're always practicing, on the mat and off.

I made a faith connection, as well. Just as we should demonstrate our martial arts training in everything we do, we should demonstrate the love of Christ to others in the same way. Jesus should be in everything we do, as well. And just like with martial arts, even if others don't know that we're disciples, if we take Jesus with us everywhere and treat everything as though it is part of being a disciple of Christ, they will notice something different about us. And perhaps our example will be just what someone needs. God uses everything we do for his glory. He works through even the littlest things that seem to hold no significance for us.

So is there karate in holding the door open for someone? Is there karate in offering a friend a quarter at the vending machine? Is there karate in giving your best at everything you do? My answer is yes to all. And in those same things, there is also Christ. What we do with our time and our lives; the decisions we make...they should reflect our training and also God's love. Then we'll really know that we're training all the way.

Priorities

Today Sensei and I did a demo at a church. It had a small congregation and they were very warm and hospitable to us. We taught some basic moves (rising block, double punch, front kick...) and demonstrated some kata (Tioga I and Bo Shodan). Afterward, we worshiped and Sensei gave a great sermon. The kids loved it, and it looked like even some of the parents were getting into it!

I was really excited about everything too, because it was the first time I'd been able to participate in martial arts for about two weeks. My concussion headache is gone, but almost every day, I get mini-headaches in various spots on my head. My mom, who is the TBI specialist in the house, isn't concerned with it, though. She cleared me to go back and...well...moms usually have the last say anyway, so I'll be back in class tomorrow! :)

After listening to Sensei's sermon this morning, though, I realized that this two-week hiatus has been really good for me. The main point of his sermon was that it's really important to have a strong foundation in something that won't let you down. Of course, that foundation isn't music, or another person, or even martial arts...it's God.

I really really love karate. I'm not sure if everybody in the world knows it yet (I think they do) but right now martial arts is my favorite thing to do. Even music, which is what I've chosen to make a career out of, comes in second to karate at the moment. Training is so much fun and it makes me feel good and I enjoy having the chance to teach and be taught by everybody at the Refinery. Since I began training again, I feel healthier and stronger and I'm at a much higher level of thinking than before.

But Sensei said today that, "If you really really love something and you give it to God, He will give it back to you and it'll be three times better because now you're doing it in His name." (I paraphrased that a little bit, but that's basically what he said). I find it very difficult to consider the thought of giving up martial arts at all, for any reason. I survived these two weeks but I didn't really enjoy not being able to participate. I realize, though, that the only time that I'll have to quit is when I start making my life more about karate than about God. God's gotta come first.

I think this two-week period of frustration and impatience was a good indicator that I've gotten a little bit too involved in karate. I love it so much and that isn't going to change anytime soon, but in the excitement of training and everything I forgot to make God my first priority. I relied on Him a lot over the past two weeks to help me keep my spirit strong and my attitude positive in spite of pain and impatience and anger...and even though sometimes it was tough, God found ways to keep me going and even to work through me in the lives of other people. I guess you could say I got grounded, but in a good way.

It was a great reminder that it's not a matter of what deserves my top priority, but who. It's a little bit difficult for me to think of giving martial arts away because I want to keep it so much...I love training; I treasure it. But after recovering from my concussion, I know now that I can trust God to take what I treasure and to tweak it and refine it and make it work for His glory. And I can deal with that. In fact...I'd be delighted to.

Amen!

Pride in its place

In a previous post, I talked about how pride has little to no place in karate. In this entry, I'm going to talk about it again because it's starting to seem like a theme in my training.

It's proof that I really don't remember a thing that I've had two different people confirm that my concussion was caused by a punch and not a kick. I kept telling folks that it was a roundhouse kick (including the doctors) because I couldn't imagine a punch causing me this much pain and trouble, but I was really just guessing. It was actually a follow-up punch off the back hand that gave me the concussion.

I've been feeling okay, off and on. At my best, I'm just a little tired with a pretty bad headache. At my worst, I feel nauseated and disoriented on top of the tiredness and pain. It comes and goes. But in between the episodes of bad headache, I mostly just feel like a wimp. I keep thinking to myself, 'It was just a punch. You must not be very strong if a punch could do that much damage to you'.

I'm not treating myself fairly though, because honestly I'm really not that strong. I keep having to remind myself that the human body can only handle so much and that a punch to the temple, no matter how hard or soft, is damaging. I'm way too demanding of myself sometimes. I find it difficult to keep my expectations within the range of what can realistically be accomplished. And I think the problem is partially caused by an excess of pride.

If I wasn't proud, I wouldn't feel like a wimp because my expectations would be within the range of normal human capability. I wouldn't expect another person who got hit in the temple to make an immediate recovery. I'd expect them to have a concussion. I should therefore expect the same from myself. I am not Superman just because I feel like I should be. And why should I be? What makes me so much better than everybody else that I should be able to super-humanly handle head trauma? Nothing. I am human like everybody else...but for some reason, that isn't always enough for me.

Now don't get me wrong, pride can be good sometimes. That is, some types of pride can be positive and good for you...but it is not good when it makes you feel unnecessarily bad about yourself. Right now, I'm struggling with that kind of pride. I'm having a hard time putting it in its place...which should be somewhere else, where it can't get to me like it has.

Another factor in my being hard on myself is that I really just want this to be over with so that I can return to training. According to my doctor, I can't do anything; I can't even take a walk around my neighborhood until I make it through an entire week with no symptoms. I've been relatively active for a year and having to completely slow down and stop is a little bit discouraging and is making me feel restless.

Despite the negative tone of this entry, I really am trying to have a good attitude because I know that having a good attitude will speed up recovery and is generally more fun to live with. But honestly, in between my periods of optimism, I do feel a little bit discouraged. It's kind of like my headache: I feel good and then I feel lousy...and then I feel good again.

This whole ordeal is becoming a test of my patience and kindness toward myself. Both are being challenged, and perhaps both really need to be. I'll just have to do my best...and I hope I learn something from this that will help me in the future. And hopefully something will change as a result.

Attitude is Everything

I'm about to apply life to martial arts instead of the other way around, although this story is definitely martial arts-related.

On Wednesday I didn't have my hands up when I needed them to be while sparring and I received a very solid roundhouse kick to the temple. I thought I was alright for a little while, but my head hurt and I started to feel really sick, so my mom picked me up from karate and took me to the ER to check for brain damage.

My parents are in the military and I am still on their insurance, so we had to drive about 45 minutes away to get to the hospital on the local air force base, Lackland. The military is great, don't get me wrong, but they are required to serve people in uniform before they serve people in civilian clothing (unless, of course, said person in plain clothes is bleeding on the floor or having a heart attack), so Mom and I waited for a total of about 6 hours before we were seen.

It was a long wait and my head was killing me. But somehow I managed to stay positive...even through the loudness of Fox News and Glenn Beck. There were some times where I became discouraged from having to wait so long, but I found that it was easier to sit and wait while I was making jokes and trying to keep a good attitude about it. I think life is easier when we keep a sense of humor.

They did a CT scan and found no internal bleeding, so I was diagnosed with a concussion and told that I can't go back to karate or do anything physically demanding until I go for an entire week without headaches, nausea, or memory loss.

Well, this was a little discouraging because I love karate. It's the highlight of my week. I hate having to sit out when I get hurt, I hate getting sick, and I hate missing class. But I'm trying to keep a good attitude because I realize that having to miss karate for a little while is much better than going back and injuring myself further, and then having to stop doing it altogether.

It's my third day since the ER visit and my head hurts worse than it ever has, but again, I am trying to stay positive because I've learned that the entire experience is easier and doesn't seem quite as bad when I keep my attitude good and my sense of humor handy.

It might be awhile before I'm allowed to return to karate, but if karate has taught me anything, it's that attitude is everything. Pain is pain and it hurts no matter what, but it will surely hurt more if it's the main object of my focus all the time...just like push-ups! Push-ups hurt sometimes and they're physically demanding, but they always hurt worse when you're only thinking about how much you want to stop.

Indomitable spirit definitely exists off the mat. This is probably a great time to practice it. And whenever you're practicing indomitable spirit, you're practicing karate. Whenever you're practicing having a good attitude, you're practicing karate. Whenever you're doing something you must do even though you don't really want to, you're practicing karate. When you're kind to someone, when you're helpful, when you don't give up, when you push through the pain...you're practicing karate.

I'll miss going to class for the next week or so, but I don't need to be in class to practice. I'm always practicing...in everything I do.

Power Words

When we think about martial arts, we probably don't first think about words. If we don't train in a martial art regularly, we probably think about UFC and roundhouse kicks and old Kung Fu movies. If we do train regularly, we might think of improving our technique and bettering ourselves physically and mentally...but it's highly unlikely that when thinking about karate, we'll first think about words. After all, there isn't a lot to be said (minus 'help, this guy's mugging me!') when we find ourselves in a situation where self-defense may be needed.

While training, however, words have tremendous power over our ability to progress. There are some words that I've discovered during my training that I like to refer to as 'power words'. These words have different connotations and some of their meanings change depending on context, but in general, these are a few that have somehow effected my training:

-Thank you
-Spirit
-Difficult
-Okay
-Can't
-Strong
-Practice
-Good
-Tired

'Thank you' speaks for itself. We thank our partners, we thank our sensei, we thank our senior students, we thank parents, we thank God...we do a lot of 'thanking' in martial arts, for the big things and the little things. When someone says 'thank you', they are acknowledging their gratitude to you for helping them improve. It raises morale for both people and also allows us to practice our humility. Very powerful. If everybody were thanked at least once a day, even for something small, I think life in general would improve tremendously.

'Spirit' is a word that describes that attitude of always getting back up, no matter how tired you are or how hard you've fallen. This word is very motivating. It's a reminder to continue to fight; to never give up; to be your best at all times and to give your best effort to everything. Because you deserve to expect the best from yourself.

'Difficult' actually doesn't speak for itself. There are two ways to interpret and receive this word. Instead of saying "I can't", I often say "This is difficult". To me, it isn't an excuse to stop trying, it's a way to acknowledge where I need improvement. This word is powerful because it is a motivator. It is also powerful because it is scary. Difficult things are sometimes daunting, but doing them anyway makes a stronger and more disciplined person.

'Okay' is a good word because it's always what you want to hear someone say after they've taken a hard fall or a punch to the nose. I constantly say 'I'm okay' to reassure my partner that they haven't seriously injured me and they usually do the same. 'Okay' doesn't mean that I'm not in pain, though. It doesn't mean that I didn't feel it...but it means that I can continue and that I will.

'Can't' is the first power word that has a negative connotation. This word is especially powerful because once it's in your head, it's very very hard to get it off your mind. 'Can't' can be debilitating. It can keep you from learning; from trusting; from progressing. This word applies not only to martial arts, but to life. But despite the implications of 'can't', we can also use it to learn about ourselves and what we think our limitations are...it is especially valuable when we find out that our limitations are much less than what we thought they were.

'Strong' is a power word because it ties in with spirit. We train our bodies to be strong; we want our strikes and stances to be strong. We also want to be strong in our attitude about life. A solid foundation is very important to any kind of structure. Understanding that about martial arts helps us to understand it in relationship to life, as well. Strong doesn't always mean that you're the best or that you win...but it means you continue to try and you continue to improve yourself. There's a lot of power in that.

'Practice' speaks for itself. This should always be a power word because practice is what ultimately makes us improve. With practice, even the most inexperienced student can become strong, fast, and experienced. With practice, even the most uncoordinated person can learn balance and grace. Practice is taking the time to work on details that slowly bring together the whole. A talented fighter that doesn't practice will eventually be beaten by an average fighter that does practice. The attitude of spending time on something when the end doesn't seem clear teaches us to have faith and to follow through.

'Good' is a powerful word because it is encouraging. I tend to do better when I hear that something I did was 'good'. It's as simple as that. When we encourage each other, we set each other up to succeed. Likewise, if we tear each other down and use lots of negative words, we set each other up to fail, ultimately...and to feel bad. Nobody trains well when they're feeling bad.

'Tired' is my last power word because it is the word I learned about today. I've discovered that when I'm tired, I move slower, I feel stiffer, I think too much, and I'm quick to get frustrated. 'Tired' has a required co-requisite called 'patience'. When we're tired, our minds fixate on fatigue and we start to lose our focus. Even when we're legitimately exhausted, if we continue to tell ourselves that, we are only going to become more and more tired. This power word took control of me today in class and I felt that I wasn't training as well as I usually do. It's important to take care of ourselves, but it's also important to be kind because we don't always do a good job of taking care.

Words have power. They have sway over our feelings and our thoughts. I use some of these power words to fuel my attitude during martial arts. Others, I try to avoid. Attitude is 90% of the work that goes into training. It's the same with life. Words have a lot of power in regular life, too.

There are other power words. I've only listed those that come up in training, here. I'm sure you can think of others. I'm sure you can think of words that others have said to you which have had power over you. We do have power over ourselves...and that power is often brought into play by a few choice words.

It's important to be responsible with the words we use. Not only with others, but also with ourselves. Ultimately, words become thoughts and thoughts become actions. Actions become who we think we are...and that is important. That is powerful.